any day now

i had a doc appt this morning and an ultrasound. this little bugger is a shy one: it's butt was in the way. (not like pooka, the exhibitionist.) and it's head was so low, she could barely get a measurement on it. all good signs for impending labor. that, and the fact that i was having contractions while she was scanning me.

so the best guess the tech had as far as size was 8 pounds, give or take half a pound. that's quite the margin of error. i could have been that accurate.

the doctor stripped my membranes and wagered that it would be within the next 48 hours, but not to quote her on it. i have been having contractions all morning since then, so i would bet on it, too.

everyone at work is amazed that i am here, but where else am i gonna be? i can walk the halls here just as well as walking around at home, and the hospital is just as close to here as it is to home. so what's the difference? plus i get paid for being here.

my guess is that i'll last the day, but i don't think i'll be in tomorrow. if contractions stop, though, i will come in. i'm tough like that.

could be worse

pooka ended up going into the clinic today instead of just going to the lab for counts. with the cough she's got, we wanted to make sure it wasn't anything more serious than the cold that kisu had.

dr raj listened to her lungs and pronounced it not pneumonia. good.
no fever and counts are excellent, so we're not too worried. plus now we know what i'm dealing with, too.

we gave her the nite time formula of cough medicine tonight and it knocked her out in no time flat. she still coughed but she didn't wake herself up. i think she'll be much better tomorrow for the uninterrupted rest. i know taking the nite time stuff has really helped me to not feel run down. i need to keep my strength up for labor.

do not operate heavy mach....zzzzzz

i practically fell asleep on the way to work yesterday and when i did get there, i couldn't keep my head off the desk. around 945 or so i finally gained enough consciousness to actually be at work. i couldn't figure out what was wrong. i thought i had gotten plenty of sleep sunday, what with the extended nap period. the heat certainly wasn't helping (our a/c is not working and it reached 81 degrees in the office.) the resurgence of the cold? more coughing that fatigue-inducing. so what gives?

well, last night after dinner i took some more cold medicine and found myself sleeping through a hockey game (What? now i know something's up!) it wasn't until i finally awoke clear-headed this morning that i realized the connection between those 2 narcoleptic events. the medicine is 'nite time' formula.

usually the sleepy component doesn't affect me (i once bounced off the walls all night after taking nyquil), but apparently my body chemistry has changed, either from time, or from the baby. this stuff knocked me OUT!

so this morning i took some regular cough medicine, but you can bet your booty i'll be taking the sleepy-time stuff tonite.

this will go on her permanent record

granny suggested public pre-school for pooka. *smacks self on forehead*
i don't know why i never thought of that.

i called the district today and got the information. it's only 2 days/week, and the sessions are only 2 hours and 15 minutes, but it's something. i am very scared at the prospect of sending her in, though.

partially, it's the official-ness of it. once she's in the school system, we have to do everything by the book, right?

apparently, i have already missed the registration period for public school kindergarten this coming fall. oh no, what if she doesn't go back to h'n'h and i've missed my one chance to get her signed up for public school?

what if she gets sick being around all those other kids again? and misses class? does pre-school have an attendance policy?

what if she throws mega-tantrums on the teachers?

what if she gets sick at school and they don't know how to handle it?

what if she exerts her charismatic persona and organizes the other kids into a militant mob and executes a coup d'etat over the school administration?

what if a million other scenarios occurs?

i don't remember feeling this nervous when we sent her off to daycare. what's the deal?

ultimately, i think that this will be great for her to be able to play with kids her age and get used to sharing, and being on someone else's schedule, and all the other things that go with being in school and not being a stay-at-home pampered princess, but i'm worried about the timing. the school year ends at the end of may, so we should take advantage of all the time left, but sending her right now might make her feel like we're kicking her out the door because of the baby (even though it's only 4 hours/week.).

and if it's only 4 hours/week, is it worth the hassle of doing the paperwork and the anxiety?

i'm in labor...psych!

i started having contractions late yesterday evening and thought that we might have to go to the hospital, but they weren't very intense and ended up stopping once i went to bed. nevertheless, we got a little nervous/excited and it certainly lit a fire under kisu's butt. he has really gotten into high gear about getting the nursery ready and getting the living room cleaned up.

saturday we got up and went to sam's club, and then i spent a good chunk of time painting the murals (standing) and then pooka wanted to ride her bike, so i walked up and down the block with her, and then emptied the dishwasher in preparation for eating dinner. i think all that standing and walking brought on the contractions. as soon as i sat down they stopped, but the second i stood up again, they started. i told kisu about them after i had counted a few, and we agreed that i should call dad and t just to put them on alert.

t was funny when i called. she said she told dad that i would go into labor that day based on reading my horoscope. close...but no cigar.

i was a little disappointed when the contractions stopped. but at least this gives me hope that the baby might actually want to come out some time soon, and we might not have to be induced. on the other hand, it gives kisu a chance to continue getting healthier. if he's still sick, he won't be much help to me in the delivery room, plus he might have had to wear a mask to hold the baby for the first time. that's bonding.

on the other other hand, i feel like i'm getting sick again. my ears are feeling plugged up again, and my coughing has gotten significanl;y worse. i don't think i'll be much help to myself in the delivery room if i'm sick.

i don't know if it was the contractions, or the activities of saturday, but i slept like crap saturday night and when i woke up today, my back was killing me. i ended up taking a 2 1/2 hour nap this afternoon. that felt good. pooka took one, too. hopefully, that will help her feel not so grumpy. this weekend was rocky as far as behavior goes.

discipline

pooka has tantrums. what 5 year old doesn't? but because she spends 2-3 days/week with grandparents, i'm concerned about how they deal with her tantrums.

granny and poppa are getting a little burnt out and i can't say i blame them. it's tough dealing with a kid this age, not to mention one who has gone through the ordeal she has in the last 16 months, and is now awaiting the imminent upheaval of her world by the intrusion of a baby.

granny raised concerns with me last week about the severity of pooka's tantrums. she suggested we use some of the resources provided by our social worker at the hospital to consult a psychologist. perhaps this person could provide some insight and/or pointers on how to deal with the behavioral issues. this idea is a little intimidating: no one likes to hear that their child needs a shrink. furthermore, kisu and i have found a way to defuse pooka's tantrums and they have diminished at home in the past few weeks; we were unaware that they were still an ongoing issue at the g'parents house. clearly, we failed to share our secret with granny and poppa. i think our first step should be to sit down and lay out our expectations of behavior, and then the acceptable disciplinary measures used to shape that behavior. i think ultimately the fault lies in lack of communication between the adults.

granny believes that this is not normal behavior for a 5 year old, but i disagree. first off, i challenge her memory of how a 'normal' 5 year old behaves. the last 5 year old she was around for a significant period of time is now almost 16. the memories may be a little unclear. additionally, i have had recent conversations with friends whose 5 year olds are friends with pooka: they are all dealing with the same behavioral issues, fundamentally. now when you add in the chemo and the impending siblinghood, you arrive at pooka. this is completely understandable.

the challenge, then, is to arrive at an understanding of what's causing the behaviors, and how to best deal with those factors. i believe kisu and i are clear on the causes; we need to explain them to the g'parents. dealing with the normal 5 year old? well, kisu has already spoken with poppa about what we use as our 'ultimate' punishment. last night was the first chance to see if it was needed/effective. the chemo? there's not a damn thing we can do about that for another year, and i don't think 'counseling' would have any effect on the chemical fluctuations the chemo causes to her mind and body. as for the emotional issues surrounding the birth of the baby: we repeatedly assure pooka that we will still love her, spend time with her, etc., but until the baby comes and she can see for herself what the actual impact on her life is, her fears will not completely disappear. fortunately, we only have a maximum of 10 days left until the baby arrives.

granny and poppa have been a tremendous help to us since pooka's diagnosis, and for that we are deeply grateful. our successful navigation of the last 16 months would have been in serious jeopardy without them, in fact. but i think that they will be greatly relieved to know that while i am on maternity leave, they will get a break from the pooka.

as for last night...
we got a call around bedtime from a very distraught pooka. according to poppa, she had been whining and sad for about and hour about being away from home and mommy. poppa did not use the punishment, instead opting for distraction by physical exertion. when that did not work, he allowed her to call me. kisu and i were very disappointed in this, having spent a lot of time over the previous day and a half giving her pep talks/threats about behaving for granny and poppa. she said she was trying, but that she just couldn't control herself. we both explained over the phone that controlling yourself is part of being a big girl and that we expected her to continue trying. after calming her down, i did the bedtime ritual over the phone and told her i expected no more trouble for granny and poppa. we'll find out at dinner tonight whether or not she calmed down sufficiently for the g'parents.

funky funky moves

yesterday,poppa took pooka to the play area at the mall, where apparently she saw lots of older kids playing. she informed us that they were, "busting moves like teenagers."

so i think that means they were dancing?

then later in the bath, she wanted me to watch her 'tricks'. this involves lots of flailing and practically intentionally falling into the water filled tub. she was spinning and rolling, and whatnot. she said this was her 'super-funky, funky, funky, funky, funky move'.

i told her i don't think i've ever seen anything funkier. but i'm so square i wouldn't know funky if it flopped on the floor in front of me. oh, wait, it just did.

***

doctor's appt. today for me. not much change. i scheduled an u/s for next thursday, if the baby hasn't shown up yet, to see just how big this monster is going to get. we also scheduled an induction for 4/4 just in case it takes that long, because i want to be home for Easter.

virus...pass it on

it looks like kisu has caught my cold. he didn't go to school last night, and his lab partner called to say that he was sick as well.

instead of the slowly encroaching yuckiness i felt, kisu jumped right into the really crappy phase. he has been pretty miserable since monday. last night was possibly the worst, though. he was coughing and hacking most of the night. none of us slept very well. i don't know if pooka really heard him during the night, but she also complained about 'a clicking problem' with her fan. she was up several times last night.

between kisu coughing, pooka asking to be re-tucked in, and the baby , i felt like i hardly slept at all. i am quite stiff and not a little cranky. plus, there's the constipation. so i guess i am starting to develop the feelings of 'enough pregnancy already'.

***

as an example of how out of it kisu is: he called me at work this morning to ask, "when is pooka due for her saturday medicine again?"

me: "umm, saturday."

*silence*

me: "oh, yeah, we have to call in a refill. can you do that? i don't have the numbers with me."

kisu, in a really mopey voice: "yeah, i guess so."

is it halloween already?

pooka likes to hide and then pop out and say "BOO!" at 5, she still hasn't outgrown this.

tonight, she was in a particularly scary mood, and repeatedly crept up behind poppa. i asked her at one point, "what's with all the boo's?"

she replied, "i just feel really boo-ey."

ok, then.

getting ready

i finally packed my hospital bag tonight. after getting a message from shari at work notifying me that friday was her last day, it sank in: she's only a week ahead of me, and she's gonna go any day now -- i better get moving.

of course, as i was packing, i had to stop every couple of minutes to determine if what i was feeling were labor contractions. i decided not and continued with what i was doing.

i started going through some of the newborn clothes and picked out 2 coming home outfits for the baby. i refused to take anything pink, because i am just not sure about this being brigitte rose. i don't really mind if it is a boy that he wears pink onesies for his first 3 months, but the coming home outfit will be featured prominently in pictures, and i don't want to traumatize him later. so i packed the pooh bear outfit that pooka came home in, plus one other. it was so nice to smell baby clothes again!

when i finally sat down, the bh contractions stopped, so i knew i was alright.

still recovering

last night we all slept better with the help of benadryl, but we were still very tired today. we finally sorted through pooka's pajamas and pulled out the stuff that's too small, but that's as far as we got. we still have a whole closet full of clothes to sort. kisu scraped and spackled the nursery ceiling, but it still needs to be painted. we did some more painting on pooka's murals. i'll have to get some pix up tomorrow.

we did a lot of snuggling today. pooka again asked to go to bed shortly after dinner, but instead she and kisu snuggled in her bed watching a movie on her portable dvd player while i painted. it was so very...pleasant. a nice way to spend a day. we gotta make the most of these quiet opportunities, because as pooka said, "a baby is a handful."

the itchy and scratchy kid

there is much exhaustion in the nest today. pooka is on the steroids again and, like last month, they are causing a mild allergic reaction in the form of itchy skin. this time it is so bad that it kept us all awake last night. kisu was on duty from 1100pm until about 230am during which hours, he applied lotion, tylenol, and administered a bath to soothe the itchy pooka. nothing worked. by 230, apparently my body had enough sleep to start waking up and i took over. between 230 and 330, i applied more lotion, a pair of pants to protect the skin on her legs and finally crashed into pooka's bed with her. as i suspected, the proximity of another body provided the last bit of healing that she needed and she blissfully slept until 830 this morning. i was not so blissfull, but did manage to sleep. kisu was a total zombie.

i called dr callaghan and was told to get some benadryl. pooka got another bath while i went to the drugstore. i picked up some medicine for myself, as well, since this cold seems to be getting worse before it gets any better. with benadryl dissolved in her mouth, we ate some breakfast and then retired to the big bed, whereupon all 3 of us promptly fell asleep. at 1030, we were feeling significantly better, but we have had little energy all day.

perversely, i think i am in my version of the nesting phase, so i want to do something, but my body has no strength with which to do it.

when your 5 year old says she too tired for dessert and wants to go to bed and it's not even 7pm, you know she's tired.

***

while we were in the big bed this morning, pooka had my pocket notebook and was pretending to make a list. she despaired that she was no good at it, though. then she asked how to spell 'could'. kisu did, then we asked why she wanted to write 'could'. she replied, "because i could."
duh.

baby update

went to the ob this morning. 2 cm and 75%, although the doctor so kindly informed me that those numbers don't necessarily mean anything with a second baby. nevertheless, i probably should get that hospital bag packed...

we received the cord blood donation kit, about which the doctor was very pleased to hear. she is a great proponent of the practice. it only makes sense; they'd just throw out the placenta otherwise. this way if it can't directly save someone's life as a transplant, then maybe they will make a breakthrough discovery by performing research with it. i wish we could have done that with pooka's cord blood, but then again, i would have felt really guilty if it had been transplanted into someone and then they developed leukemia, too. oh well, God's will.

so the doctor predicts i'm heading for another 'big baby'. gee, you think?? apparently, anything over 7.5 lbs is a 'big baby'. she said next week they can strip my membranes to hasten things. by next week, i might be interested in hastening things, but so far i'm still comfortable.

mischievous michigan

told ya': it snowed last night-about 1.5 inches.

clinic

counts were great today. they'll be checked in two weeks, and clinic again in 4. thank goodness this seems to be winding down. *knock, knock*

pooka was happy to see dr. raj. she was allowed to go into the doctor's special meeting room to give her a hug, since dr. raj was on lunch break from rounds upstairs. apparently, the whole staff are excited about the baby and want us to bring it for a visit. i don't know how i feel about taking a newborn to the hem/onc clinic. have to think on that one.

everyone loved pooka's hair, too. someone even asked how long kisu had to work to get it to look like that. he laughed and shrugged. it's SO gorgeous, but pooka still maintains that she wants straight hair like mommy. how boring. i would love to have her new wavy hair....but i don't want to have to go through chemo to get it.

in the waiting room, someone had a fresh baby, and kisu was talking and interacting with it. pooka got very upset, according to kisu. "you're MY daddy!" oooh, that's gonna be a problem. but i bet when we go out with the baby and other people start trying to interact with it, she'll turn it into, "that's MY sister!" i think that's pretty normal.

spring fever

today the temperature reached the 70's. 74 on one restaurant sign, 71 on another. pooka was beside herself when i got home. mommy, can i play outside??????

sure.

she put last year's sandals on and some shorts and went out to play with her basketball hoop. then she insisted that i join her. since i had foolishly ignored her advice this morning about wearing cooler clothes, i had to change out of my turtleneck (hello! it was 81 degrees at work!). while outside, she wanted to go for a bike ride, play sidewalk chalk, water the plants, and every other warm weather thing. i let her do a few things while i went inside to cook dinner.

i drew the line, though, when she asked to get the pool set up. "then how about the sprinkler?" no. "well, what if you just hose me down?" still no. i told her, "no outside water playing until at least april."

"why?"

"because it's march in michigan, which means that it very well could snow tomorrow. it feels warm now because yesterday you were freezing, but once you get wet and the wind kicks up, you'll be a popsicle."

hmm..sounds a little out of whack

ever since she was a baby, kisu has used pooka as a 'butt gun'. he holds her over his shoulder and squeezes her cheeks while he makes firing noises. she absolutely LOVES this. now that she is old enough to do it herself, we frequently get barraged. tonight she declared that the guns need a tuneup. she went and got her toolkit and made kisu do an inspection. i was laughing my butt guns off. after she was done (not to her satsifaction, but hey, who has a manual for these things?) she wanted me to fire my guns. so i'm standing there in the bedroom, half naked, squeezing my now ample(r) butt cheeks making firing noises. thank goodness mine was the only camera there....

no rest for the weary

today was meant to be a recuperating day after the craziness of yesterday. yeah, that didn't work. we did sleep in a little bit, but once pooka remembered that it was sunday, she insisted that we go to church. when i told her that service had already started, she asked, "what about second service?" i was stumped. i don't even know what time second service is; we never go to that one. i eventually dragged my butt through a shower and after throwing in a load of laundry, we left. afi thought second service would be more crowded cuz, you know, people like to sleep in, but it was barren. there were a total of 3 kids in sunday school. i wonder if it was the time change....

after church, we went to michael's to get some more paint, and meijer to get some groceries. some lunch when we got home, and then a little painting session. i ended up being late for cooking club, which went until 8. by the time i got home, i read some charlotte's web to pooka and put her to bed. then kisu and i watched battlestar and went to bed. ok, technically, i fell asleep before the show was over, but that's typical.

cooking club was a little different this month: they had a surprise shower for the two pregnant women in the group. that was very nice. for the second day in a row, i got my cake on. yum.

kisu and pooka did some more painting while i was gone. ursula's body is half finished. i realized this weekend that it may take longer to finish the character painting than i originally thought; we can't paint while pooka is sleeping in the room. doh! actually, when i mentioned that to her she graciously gave me permission to come in and paint while she was sleeping. but it obviously can't be on the walls over her bed. the sooner we get the painting done, the sooner we can get the rest of the crap out of our living room and into pooka's furniture. it looks like a disaster area right now.

the next major step is for kisu to fix the paint chips in the nursery so we can put that room back together. we might just be ready by the time the baby arrives.

***

classic freudian?
this morning pooka was trying to sing the song from m*ckey m*use club house. when she got to the spelling part, she sang: "m-i-c-k-e-y L-o-u-s-e". kisu and i had a great time with that. after living in orlando for 3 years, i have a love/hate relationship with uncle walt's empire of the rodent.

saturday circus

RING ONE: WAKE UP CALL

we had a FULL day today. we got up and had a good breakfast of eggs and toast with oranges. pooka didn't eat much, though. she was still excited about sleeping in her new room for the first time. i was not so excited. i was stiff. without my own mattress, my stock of pillows and particularly my body pillow, i did not sleep well. add in the obligatory 3 mid-night trips to the bathroom and i was still very tired.
she begged me to sleep there for another night but i adamantly refused.

while kisu and i were getting ready for the day ahead, she was buzzing around, wanting to do something for her room. we told her to go ahead and move in her socks and underwear. we aren't going to transfer her pants and shirts until we get a chance to sort through them, because i know there are a lot of things that are too small for her still in the old closet. she was very gung-ho, and ended up clearing out the changing table/dresser. she tried to move all the baby blankets, too, but we had to remind her that those were being handed down to the baby. we did let her keep the couple blankets that are personalized or have special meanings: like the ones she received from providence at her birth and children's at her diagnosis. these we put in an underbed storage case and slid, well, under her bed.

pooka tried to get us to stay home by pleading fatigue and saying she just wanted to sleep in her new bed all day long. yeah, as if that would happen. we finally left the house for adrian, with pooka in the back seat watching a dvd. when we got to uncle k's house, the boys left pretty quickly for the movies and the girls went to lunch.

RING TWO: EVERYBODY WAS KUNG-FU FIGHTING

after lunch, pooka and i went to the college to check out the black dragon's den tournament. it has been ages since i attended one. master rodriguez was very surprised to see me and pooka. we grabbed some seats and watched little kids' breaking. pooka was pretty interested and asked lots of questions. i was glad she quit protesting about being there. i introduced her to several people that i used to train with and she was her polite self. i was surprised that she didn't really pull the shy act. although most people there don't know about the leukemia, no one commented on the shortness of her hair. i guess they just figured "like mommy, like daughter".

the breaking did kind of drag on and we both got a little antsy. i was trying to keep her entertained long enough to see some sparring. finally, the fighting began, and fortunately, they start with the youngest kids first, so she could relate to it a little better. meanwhile, we had talked about the different uniforms and why they were barefoot, etc. she watched some of the sparring, but didn't really get into it. i don't know if she related it to the fighting that she and kisu do.

at one point, master rodriguez came over to us and asked, "so what does she play with? does she have any weapons?" i said, "well, she has a plastic sword, but it's more gladiator-style." he responds, "oh, she needs some nunchucks!" uh, yeah, exactly what i was thinking. he walks and away and comes back with a set of foam handled 'chucks. oh, okay, that's not so bad. i said, "my husband's gonna love this." she looked at them and we talked about what they were. then she said, "no thanks, mommy, you can have them." but then she saw some of the slightly older kids working them and playing with them, and she got interested. she pulled them out of the sleeve and got down off my lap to start swinging. i told her to stay in the open area behind me so she didn't hit anybody. the next thing i know, i hear these crazy qi-ups and i get whacked in the butt. i turned around and she's got a huge grin on her face. she didn't let the chucks out of her sight for the rest of the day, and even started to panic when she thought we left them at uncle k's. we then headed home for the next event...

RING THREE: JUMP AROUND, JUMP AROUND, JUMP UP, JUMP UP, AND GET DOWN

not knowing if there would be food at an 8pm birthday party, we stopped home for a quick snack. by the time we hit the road, it was obvious that we were going to be late because of the time required to drive to the place. oh, well. i was not very enthusiastic about the whole thing, considering what we had already done today. things were in full swing when we arrived, it was an inflatable play structure paradise. a jump/joust room; a jump/basketball room; a giant slide; and an obstacle course. pooka was in heaven, although i'm pretty sure heaven doesn't smell like sweaty kids' feet. i hope.

we were glad to see noel and nancy there. noel kept kisu company and nancy jumped around with pooka, since i obviously was in no condition to do so. except everyone kept encouraging me to get in the bounce houses, saying, "maybe it will bring the baby sooner". excuse me, what makes you think i want the baby to come any sooner than God has planned? i'm perfectly content with the baby where it is, thankyouverymuch.

anyway, pooka had a BLAST, and burned off tons of energy that i didn't know she still had. adios to more chemo-calories, baby! i did end up riding the slide a couple times, and paid for it: the first time i got an abrasion on my elbow and the e last time i whacked my face and shoulder against the side of the slide, plus pooka crashed her face into my other shoulder. ouch.

after much revelry, we headed to the party room for pizza and cake. pooka surprisingly didn't want any pizza and by the time she was ready for cake, the only kind left was vanilla. (vanilla anything is anathema to her.) we weren't too disappointed, though, that she couldn't get a dose of sugar at 945pm. she crashed by the time we were on the road for 5 minutes and when we got home, kisu and i hit the sack immediately, too.

fish n chips under the sea

we finally got our fish fry. kisu and i have been craving a good fish fry for awhile, and we made plans 2 weeks ago with dad and t to go to 'hope's fish and chips' tonight. t didn't end up coming. she didn't miss anything. i was kind of disappointed. i figured a fish restaurant should have an awesome fish fry, but it was no better than we could have gotten anywhere else that serves a fish fry. i was very pleased with pooka, though. even though the only fish she usually eats is breaded sticks of chopped fish, she did a good job eating the 'fish fingers' at the restaurant. the first one she ate whole (well, in bites), the other two we had to scrape the breading off.

when we got home, we started to install pooka in her new room. the carpets had been steam cleaned earlier in the day and her room was sufficiently dry to move in furniture. we were only going to do the bed, but then we realized we still had a little energy left and got carried away, finally iputting all the furniture in. pooka was delirious with joy. she did her own little interpretive dance in the modern style reflecting the glee of moving into a big girl room with a big girl bed. it was hilarious.

of course, we still don't have the characters finished on the walls, but we can continue that over the next few days. we didn't fill any of the furniture pieces in anticipation of needing to move them to get access to the walls.

pooka had asked me the other day if i would sleep with her one night in her new room. i said that i could probably do that. she asked, " but won't you have to sleep with the new baby forever?" i said, "no , not forever, but maybe we'll do it before the baby comes." so tonight she cornered me. i agreed to sleep in there for one night. poor lonely daddy.

the siren song of the big bed

it was very nice to meet susan and merideth (the girls from m-a-w) last night, but i was left feeling that it didn't move us along in the process very much. we had already filled out paperwork regarding family members, and what her wish is. last night we did more of that, plus they asked pooka about her favorites: movies, foods, colors, etc. we filled out travel and publicity releases, too. afterwards, kisu told me that he thought it really did serve a purpose, because it allowed them to meet the wish child and get a sense of her personality. they could vet the wish to make sure it was appropriate for the child and really desired by the child, not just something cooked up by the parents so they could have a good time. in that regard, i think they definitely left with the sense that this wish is something very attractive to pooka. they were amazed at her charm, cuteness, and articulation, as well. naturally. in fact, they may have gotten earfuls more chatter from her than they wanted to. i'm certain they got more than they were expecting. they took a bunch of pix, which they will be e-mailing to me, and then i will post them. they brought some toys for pooks, which was generous, but the last things she needed. they also brought pizza for dinner. again, very generous, but i have to be a bit ingrateful and say that it was little skeezer's=yuck. didn't stop me from eating 4 pieces though. must be the hormones...

anyway, we are now waiting to be contacted by a wish manager, who will tell us whether we will actually be meeting rr and going to ??(new york, i think) to cook with her. oh, they asked for a backup wish, and up to this point, kisu and i hadn't been able to come up with an idea that truly represented pooka. well, she came up with her own: to sing with laurie berkner. nice. a rare enough type of event that really plays to her other major interest. good job, pooka.

***

kisu did manage to get one coat of paint on the bedroom ceiling. he said that he wasn't feeling well yesterday, so he will finish today. i can't help but believe him about feeling poorly, since he fell asleep at 745pm . in fact, we all sunggled up early and fell asleep in the big bed. we finally got up around 11pm to give pooka her meds and shift her to her own bed. there is something so wonderful about sleeping in a family bed like that, but it is equally wonderful to not have a munchkin throwing her legs over you and trying to push you onto the floor.

***
what i did tonight after clearing out a lot of pooka's bedroom in preparation for tomorrow's carpet cleaning:

wish wednesday

today the girls from make-a-wish are coming over. we're so excited!
i will update later on the results of the visit, along with pictures from the progress on the murals. i did quite a bit last night .


kisu and i have changed our minds again about the flooring in pooka's new room. instead of ripping up the carpet, we are just going to get it steam cleaned. it still goes with the theme, and we can still add the character accent rugs. this might save us a little $ since we were going to have to steam clean the carpet in the nursery anyway. now that pooka is so close to moving out, i have started calling it the nursery again. maybe she will be moved in this weekend! woohoo! kisu is painting the ceiling today and we are going to try to get the cleaners in tomorrow or friday while she is at granny and poppa's. that will give us time to let the carpets dry thoroughly and move the bed back in. our living room is going to be a total disaster area for a couple days. again.

test tuesday

kisu passed his second certification today. woohoo! long day for him, though, as the test was at noon, and then he has class still from 6-10. instead of going home, he just went straight to school and did his homework and caught up on labs.

***

today at work, almost half the staff asked me where pooka was. they seemed very disappointed that she wasn't here again today. i don't know why they would think i would bring her in two days in a row; it's a rare enough occasion. but i almost think they prefer her to me. boo hoo. hey, maybe she can come in and earn some money while i'm on maternity leave....

little miss art director

today turned out to be 'take a pooka to work' day. kisu has another certification test tomorrow and we didn't have a sitter. so i bit the bullet and packed a bag full of distractions. i was very nervous about how well she would entertain herself for 8 hours. needlessly nervous, as it turns out.

fortunately, there was an empty cube and available computer today. i set pooka up in the morning with the website to make an m&m self-portrait. then i introduced her to adobe illustrator. for the first 90 minutes of the day, she was calling for my presence approximately every 5 minutes. i wasn't sure how long i could keep that up.

at this point, we were asked to sort and deliver the mail on the account side of the floor and that occupied us for about 45 minutes. sorting, with pooka helping to read the address labels and make stacks. then delivering the mail to approximately 25 recipients. she even lugged a half full mail bin by herself because it was "too heavy to carry." ?? everyone at work was enchanted with her, and who wouldn't be? a beautiful, confident, helpful, well-mannered, articulate 5 year old--with pink camo sweatpants and shimmer slippers.

we went out to the golden arch for lunch. she wolfed down 6(!) nuggets and spent 25 minutes on the play structure.

upon returning to work, i set her up with a movie on the widescreen monitor instead of the little portable dvd player. she watched the movie, doodled, and entertained herself very well. some people were wondering whether she was even still in the building! she behaved better than some of my coworkers; kemmer, in particular, spent minutes throwing popcorn into pooka's cube. she seemed truly perplexed as to how the kernels got there.

we had only one incident: although i gave pooka a capped bottle of water to avoid spillage and cautioned her to leave the cap on unless she was actually drinking, we did have an accident. unfortunately, it was all over the borrowed keyboard. i think i got it all dried out, but i'm not sure yet if the keyboard has regained 100% functionality. we shall have to see tomorrow. at least a keyboard is easily replaced. pooka was quite remorseful about the issue and asked me not to tell the owner. i told her that you have to own up to the things you do, even if they're accidental, and even if you know it means you might get in trouble. you have to take responsibility for your actions.

i was prepared to leave as early as 230 in case of melt-down, but figured on leaving at 4 anyway. 4 came before i realized it, and when i tried to get pooka to pack up, she was disappointed that we weren't staying a whole day. we made an m&m portrait for daddy and finally hit the road right at 5. pooka was asleep within 10 minutes. there is some benefit to be had from my long commute: pooka had enought time to get a good refreshing nap in before we went out to red robin as a treat for her excellent behavior.

sunday's progress

when pooka wasn't painting, she was bouncing on her new bed. she pretended she was in a bed bouncing marathon; she said she needed to bounce for 33 hours straight. she lasted about 45 minutes with few breaks. not bad for a kid who has spent the majority of the past 15 months laying around with few real energy reserves. i was torn: letting her burn off some chemo calories and bringing on a good night's sleep vs. letting her think bouncing on the bed was going to be permanently allowed....

did i mention most of the bouncing was done naked? what a nut.

***

oh, btw, thanks to kisu, pooka's new favorite saying is, "you're a crack-head."
i have a feeling that one's going to cause us some trouble at sunday school.

let the artistry commence

we ran around gathering painting supplies today. light blue for the ceiling and a handful of acrylics for the murals. but first, the boring part: cleaning the room out and tracing the images on the walls. pooka complained about doing the prep, but i told her that it wasn't fair that i had to do all theyucky part while she got to do the fun part, and then got the added bonus of being able to live in the room with its coolness. so she relented and helped me clean. i traced a small fish first, so she could start painting while i traced the bigger images. uncle k and aunt m showed up just in time to supervise her and help paint a turtle. we did get quite a bit accomplished before we stopped for the day and got to eating. i ate so much i had to lay down for a nap when we got home.

the boys left for a tv preview thing and pooka and i started to paint a little more. i was kind of surprised at how well she did staying in the lines. a little story and then bed for pooka.

then i introduced aunt m to two of my favorite tv shows: monk and psych. the boys came home very disappointed: the shows were basically a ruse to get them to fill out marketing surveys. i'm so glad i didn't end up going. after the shows, they went to the pub to complain, and so were a little happier by the time they got home.

it's raining diapers

today the people at work had a little shower party for shari and i since we are both due at the end of the month. it was organized by jenn, who is due in the beginning of june. i felt bad that we wouldn't be there for her shower, but then i realized that i possibly will return before she goes out on leave. the drawback only having one year in with the company...

i am always so reluctant to be the center of attention. i just wanted to sit there and watch shari open her gifts instead of opening mine. i feel like a huge dork showing off this stuff. shari had no such issues: she put the bumbo seat on her head and walked around. i think maybe the hormones have made her a little drunk...

at any rate, i was very thankful for the gifts; we have some amazing people at C-E. they showed that right off the bat with the outpouring of gifts and sympathy for pooka at her diagnosis, even though i had only been working there for about a month at the time. so we now have two of the few things we actually needed for this second child. we kept almost everything from pooka.

after the gifts, we got down to the serious business of eating. i can't believe how much food was put away! nice relaxing time, even though both shari and i are planning on working right up until the end. at our work, we hardly need an excuse for a party like that. i love that place.

geography for breakfast

this morning, after cajoling pooka into having not one, but TWO servings of fruit with breakfast, we were discussing the possibility of going out to dinner tomorrow night. kisu's instructor at school wants us to go on a family double date.
i asked pooka if she had any suggestions for restaurants. she named two mexican places and frank's, our favorite local diner. she doesn't really like mexican food, but she loves to watch them make fresh tortillas. the one time she deigned to try a homemade taco, she insisted on putting carrots in it. i'm not sure why, since carrots are at best a hit or miss veg with her. i asked her if she was going to try a taco at the restaurant this time and she said only if they put carrots on it. when i replied that real tacos don't normally contain carrots, she said , "then why do they bother to have mexican restaurants in michigan?"

ummm, well, "because people like to have mexican food."

"then why don't they just go to mexico?"

so i pulled out the placemat that we bought when she was first using the table to eat. (because i rarely ever buy anything that can't be turned to some educational purpose, even if it takes 3 years to materialize.) it has a map of the US on one side, and the state flags on the other. this is our first opportunity to use it as a teaching tool. it's the first time she has really shown interest in it. so of course, i showed her where mexico is in relation to michigan, and told her that it was an entirely separate country. we talked about the relative time to drive there, compared to our driving time to buffalo to see gamma. we talked about time zones, and where alaska and hawaii are. and we started to discuss the symbols that represent each state, such as peaches for georgia, the statue of liberty for new york, and cacti for arizona. this was a very productive/educational morning, totally out of the blue. i am having one of my 'fulfilled' moods today. i didn't even mind that going over these things made me late for work, especially since the crappy weather doubled my lateness. oh, well, at least i had a reasonable excuse if anybody at work was actually keeping track.

***

i have a doctor's appt this afternoon. i will update later.

~update: i am at 1 cm, but the doctor thinks that i will go at least to term, since i was induced overdue with pooka. april here we come....