Friday, January 18, 2008

vote for mom!

after picking up the girls tuesday, I went to spend my pointless valuable two cents in the grand tradition of primary voting. i thought i would make like a good role model and do my patriotic duty, teaching a lesson along the way. since the precinct is at the end of our street, i figured it would be quick.

(i was right. there was no one else there but the blue-hairs running the operation. when i fed my ballot into the belching machine, the total clicked up to an astounding 140.)

pooka said that her kindy (do i really have to type out kindergarten every time?) teacher was talking about the primary and naming names, too. i asked which names. pooka couldn't remember, so i started listing them.

romney? i can't remember.

mccain? i can't remember.

clinton? yeah.

obama? yeah.

giuliani? i think so.

huckabee? i think so.

hmm, is the teacher showing a democratic bias? is pooka proving that our family's memory issues commence earlier with every generation? or even worse, is pooka destined to be a democrat? (her father will be mortified).

i gave her the benefit of the doubt and concluded that hilary and obama are getting press for their unusualness.

pooka asked for whom i was voting. and then she asked for whom she was voting. and then she asked for whom we were voting on daddy's behalf.

i'm not really one for politics, but every time a presidential election rolls around, i tell myself that i'm gonna pay attention this time and make sure i vote for the right person. about five weeks later, i'm tired of listening to all the b.s. it's hard to jump into the middle of such a soap opera, but it's unavoidable. from the moment you're born, there's already crap you missed out on that should play a role in your decisions (along with the decisions of the politicians). i guess that's what all those history classes were for, eh? maybe i should have paid more attention in school...

the planks of my campaign platform:

immigration: no playdates without thorough background checks into the potential visitor's potty training history, recent sugar consumption, and intended length of stay.

natural resources: no flushing foreign objects down the toilet.

health care: enforced vegetable quotas at every meal.

fiscal responsibility: balance the allowance budget. impose reasonable spending limits on candy.

security: head counts on all outings. no child left behind at the zoo (even if they did act like a monkey.)

education: prompt homework completion. less television.

energy: more naps. earlier bedtimes.

fair trade: encourage clothes swapping, including maternity wear and hand-me-downs (even if it's from sister to brother!)