don't ask, don't tell

i have been trying to do some research about my ticket.

i cannot find a phone number for the court in ontario to ask about the extra $50 added onto the fine.

i did find, however, an organization that will fight tickets in court for you. i spoke with jo there, and she gave me some useful information. primarily that blenheim will actually allow you to take 20-25 days to pay, despite the 15 day limit stated on the ticket.

jo also told me to find out what would happen to my insurance with a conviction, because that will determine whether or not it's worth paying the fee to fight the ticket. fighting won't necessarily get me out of the speeding fine, but it might reduce the licensing points, and possibly the insurance penalty. i don't know if my license will be affected at all by an ontario ticket. do the agencies communicate these things on a regular basis?

i spoke with my insurance agent and she said that they don't check the driving record regularly, so there's a chance i may not ever get hit with an increased premium. that would be ideal, obviously. at the very least i should be alright for the next 6 months, since my renewal hits in the next month and i can delay paying the ticket until then. if they don't find out about the ticket for 2 years, i can escape any premium hits for it. she said as long as we don't make any changes to the policy or have an accident (or a michigan ticket) they have no reason to check the driving record.

here's to my insurance company's ignorance!

in the meantime, for the next two years, i will be wondering and worrying over this secret.

happy birthday coty

today is my nephew's birthday. he is 18. i can't believe that my sister is almost "done" with her parenting and i'm not even done having babies.

i remember when he was born. my poor sister had no idea what she was in for. she was screaming on the bed, husband by her side.

i sat in the corner, reading one of the Incarnations of Immortality. hmm, i wonder if it was the one about gaea...

he wasn't a bad looking baby, i thought at the time, pointy head notwithstanding.

he turned into an adorable infant with bright blue eyes and a wealth of charm. as he aged, he also developed a strong sense of compassion and responsibility while caring for his younger sisters. today he is a strapping young man on the verge of making his own way in life. a military tour awaits him, as does a serious girlfriend.

i hope he finds a path that is truly his and is proud of the life he makes.

God bless you, Coty.

crabby day

i went with uncle phil to see nana today. the facility had arranged a birthday meal for her and i was standing in for dad. it was about as i feared it would be. she didn't recognize me at all. she was very agitated and wanted to get back to 'work'. at first she demanded to eat, claiming that they wouldn't let her have lunch (which they wouldn't, as they had a special meal planned), then when lunch came, she refused it, saying that she had already eaten. she ended up having only a cup of tea and two pieces of birthday cake.

i can't believe how patient uncle phil was. i would not have the patience to keep visiting, and he says he sees her once a week. it's so frustrating seeing her in this state, and being powerless to help her break through. her general health is fair, and it's depressing to think of how long she'll have to endure this way.

sometimes, uncle phil and i had sidebars at a volume we knew she couldn't hear about some of the things she said. it was either laugh or cry. but some things were truly funny, like when she did the math to confirm her age and came up with 1083. she knew that wasn't right and laughed at her own mistake.

after that episode of delight, i bought some flowers and went to visit grandma's grave. that wound is not fresh, but it still hurts.

i was also dreading leaving mom's and driving home. this all combined to make me very crabby. pooka mirrored that feeling, and so did bug. when we finally hit the road, i knew we were going to be very late getting home so i wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. i got lit up by OPP. guess what--they don't give you a pass for being a yank.

sucks! i got a ticket, and they charge an arm and a leg. that really capped off my day. ugh, is it monday yet?

family reunion

today was nice. it was a little wierd being there without kisu and dad and tina. uncle phil, phil and colleen and kids were there, so half our clan sub-unit was represented. the new location was very nice. the lunch was poorly planned, though. they didn't get enough food. the new games were pretty popular for the kids. pooka was bummed that she didn't win any tickets at those games. but she made up for it during the chinese auction. she won 2 prizes.

the turnout was kinda light, i think partially due to the new location. there's only a handful of people that i usually recognize/talk to anyway. i wish i could get the website up and draw some more attention/contributions. i floated the idea of the picnic fund paying for a relaunch and it was well received.

pooka had a good time, playing most of the day with abby or drew, jake, and rachel. at one point, though, i found her doing logrolls down the hill by herself. alkthough she looked happy, it made me kind of sad. i don't want her to be a lonely kid, especially considering the enforced isolation of the last 18 months.

pooka stepped on a bee, AGAIN! she did that 2 years ago. you'd think she'd learn to keep her sneakers on when walking through the grass. the funny thing is, she did it on her way back to the shelter but didn't get hysterical until after i noticed her sitting on a bench moping and asked what was wrong. then she burst into tears as if it had just happened instead of 10 minutes earlier.fortunately, someone was more prepared than i and supplied antibacterial wash, benadryl cream and a band-aid. this incident prompted someone to suggest buying a dedicated picnic first aid kit.

good to know my kid's boo-boo could result in something positive.

creativity for kids

pooka ended up coming to the kids day at work since kisu rescheduled his test. she had a blast, even though she only had a crash course in the story of the wizard of oz. she doesn't really care about the theme, anyway, just about having fun. we got airbrush tattoos, caricatures, hot dogs for lunch, and she played on the inflatable toys. she also spent a lot of time playing with the fancy bubble makers. she did NOT get her picture taken in front of the green screen for either A) the emerald city or B) the chevy music tour. she also did not get her picture taken with the tin man and dorothy. she missed out on the navy accelerator challenge course because she's too young and the inflatable wall climb because she's too short.

bug was along for the ride and seemed to enjoy it, although i think she got a little too much sun on her cheeks. everyone wanted to stop and see the baby.

we had a little too much excitement at lunch when i got a call from granny saying that she was having trouble breathing and couldn't get hold of poppa. i tried calling 911 and had a huge hassle, being in a different city. finally i got rescue dispatched. poppa called later and said that she is fine; it was an anxiety attack. whew, that had my adrenaline pumping, though.

pool time

today we hung around the pool all day. i bought an inflatable for bug so she could be protected from the sun. it's the same one i bought for pooka way back when. her first instinct was to try and eat it. then she fell asleep.

later pooka and i were the only ones in the pool and we played a game: name an item of food that starts with every letter of the alphabet. when we got to 'r' i offered 'radicchio'. pooka asked, "like gamma's last name?"

the lake house

we went to a cottage on a lake today. it didn't look like it was a good
day for it, but it ended up being really nice. overcast and quite
windy, but warm.

pooka finally got a chance to appease her obsession with fishing. i don't know where she got it from, but she has been talking about it for more than a year. marianne had a toddler size fishing pole and pooka was thrilled. she didn't even flinch at kevin baiting the hook. i didn't think she would have the patience for the endeavor, but apparently they have really stupid or really hungry fish at this lake. within 10 minutes she caught a rock bass as big as her hand. i was jealous. the few times i've been fishing before were all unsuccessful.

later in the day i baited up, using the adult pole, and after about 15 minutes i caught something. i sent kisu for the camera but by the time he got close to the dock, the fish flipped itself off the hook. i was so angry. pooka and kari were witnesses, though. i still had my bait, so i put the line back in and within minutes, i hooked another one. kisu got this one on film (card? ). it was about he same size as pooka's fish. we were releasing the fish back into the water, but i didn't think this one was gonna make it: the hook went in through the gills and out right next to its eyeball.kisu was magic, though, and the fishie lived to bite another hook.

by this time, kari and kisu were getting upset that they hadn't caught anything. kisu finally landed one; the biggest one of the day. kari spent the most time at it, and she tallied 4 for the whole day.

kari and i went for a tube ride , and pooka was going to take the next turn with me, but the boat died. we ended up coasting across the water behind the noxious smoke and fumes of the dead engine. oh, well.pooka was relieved.

we were all exhausted when we returned to magee's house. nothing like a little sun and fresh air to tire you out.

chatterbox

have i mentioned how gregarious bug is? she has been gabbing since her 3rd day on earth. here's proof.

new and improved, with VIDEO!

i just figured out how to upload video to the blog!
yay me!

skunky behavior

earlier this week it seemed like pooka had learned her lesson finally and was behaving better. tonight, she backslid.

she refused to go to bed and started whining, as per usual. she finally went upstairs, wailing and moaning the whole time. i threatened to shortcut the bedtime routine if she didn't stop the crabbing. this caused her to cry harder. i threatened to not let her participate in the art contest coming up at work. more tears and shreiks. i threatened to not let her attend the kids day at work. same reaction.

so basically, the fear of losing privileges prevents her from accomplishing what she needs to do in order to keep those privileges. she's frozen with panic.

after the dust settled, she offered the following reason for the tantrum:
the two friends at the playdate earlier today wouldn't stop running. the boy wouldn't let her go around the play stoplight. and he called her 'skunkface'.

what?

i almost laughed, it was so random.

on one hand, i want to cuddle her and protect her from the malice of others, to let her enjoy any youthful innocence she still posesses and to delay the time of harsh awakening when she realizes that the world can be a very mean place.

on the other hand, i need to teach her that her behavior is her responsibility, regardless of how spiteful and vexing others are.

how do you teach a kid that she needs to be nice, even though nobody else is?