self-service

bug is generally a good sleeper. she willingly goes to her crib and always wakes up bright and cheerful (unlike another child who will not be named, but it rhymes with kooka). however, sometimes weekend naps are merely 'quiet time' with her books, as opposed to actual sleep.

bug is also well into the stage of "my do it, " although she is bizarrely selective. putting on her own diaper: yes; feeding herself: no.

this past saturday these two seemingly unrelated traits met for the first (and, please God, only) time.

when i put bug in the crib, she claimed to be poopy. after using the infallible sniff test to determine that she was not, in fact poopy, i put her down and closed the door. for the next hour i could hear her reading to herself or talking to her many cribmates. as i was starting to doze off, i heard her get a little more agitated. she was insisting again that she was poopy.

when i opened the door i could see her standing bare-bottomed with diaper in hand. recalling my sister's stories of her children painting walls with feces, i rushed in to find what looked like an empty diaper. and then and i looked at her feet.

she was standing on a giant turd, and getting more upset about it by the second. as i whisked her out of the crib, the blob came with her. i deposited her, and it, on the changing pad and tried to minimize her squirming, which was certain to maximize the smearing, while also grabbing a wipe to contain the offending matter.

i have to admit i did a pretty good job wrangling, which makes for a less entertaining story, i know, but i won't apologize for NOT having poop smeared on myself and the floor, as well as my child.

i enlisted pooka to get bug hosed down in the shower while i cleared out the crib contents and threw her clothes in the washer. afterward, bug was completely content to get back in her crib and return to reading.

pew. phew.