Sunday, October 19, 2008

last respects

the first encounter with death that i can remember is my grandmother when i was 14. pooka has faced not one but two episodes this week.

first it was the dog. friday morning, it was g.g.(great-grandma). kisu's grandmother's passing was no surprise, but still comes as sad news.

the most difficult thing for pooka to accept was that we were going to grandpa's friday night instead of the school fall festival.

she has accepted both deaths with an equanimity that's almost chilling. but then again, she's only six. and perhaps her distance from both entities helps to dull the sting. she only knew the dog for a brief 3 weeks, being told the whole time how sick he was and that he would soon be leaving.

she wasn't much closer to g.g. we saw her only occasionally, and she was never a very affectionate person. she did try a little bit with pooka, but i think the kid saw through her, saw her internal discomfort with intimacy. pooka is a very loving and affectionate child, but only offered g.g. the dryest and quickest of hugs.

kisu and i debated whether to allow her to attend the funeral services, but g.g. pre-empted that concern by mandating no service. she only requested a family luncheon, to which we have been told not to bring the girls. so much for the love and support of your blood relations.