6 months!

i can't believe it. she's rolling like crazy and jumping and babbling. she is always smiling and laughing. how blessed we are!

ka-ching!

today is payday, people.

PAY DAY.

and i ain't talking about the kind with peanuts. kisu's first payday in months. he stopped working almost a year ago to attend classes with computertraining.com to get his MCSE.

he doesn't have the full MCSE yet, but he is employed in IT and that's what matters. the classes run for 6 months, but you schedule your 7 certifications independently to actually earn your alphabet soup. kisu hasn't had much time to study and test since he has been a stay-at-home dad since he stopped working.

i promised to tell about his job. he's working for an IT company locally, working on a tech support account for a major food chain. he is just finishing up 3 weeks of training, with both his actual employer and their client. they had to learn how to run the food operation front to back, so as to be better able to troubleshoot when things go wrong. their software controls everything from inventory to payroll to taking orders.

so far he is loving it, and feeling loved. the only drawback yet is that the client's training staff keep bringing in 'their' food for lunch and kisu is now mighty tired of it--not to mention off his plan. (not too far, and next week he goes back to brown bagging, so to speak.) he was told this week that he will be fast-tracked, and that made him feel even more loved.

his experience is that the company has a similar atmosphere and work/fun ethic to where i work. that is wonderful because i am so tired of him being jealous of the things we do at work. (have a sushi bar for ONE company event and you'll never hear the end of it.)

next week they go live. he's working 4 ten hour days, so he gets a 3 day weekend every week. that's one thing he can hold over me. until i tell him that his free day is gonna be spent taking care of the house.

bocce bomb

we lost our tri-final match. to a wildcard team.

boo hoo.

although we were back on the court that loved us so well in our first match, we were unable to consistently deliver points. it was pretty disappointing, considering that the other team made it by virtue of the wildcard allowance. (i have no idea how they were chosen.) they didn't have any strategy at all! they simply walked up to the line and chucked a ball.

what a disgrace.

sorry clf, you were our designated charity.

i'm obviously going to have to institute an off-season training regimen.

brother, can you spare a dime ten bucks?

it's fundraising time again.

why is it that all the schools do their fundraising at the same time? and why do they all seem to be selling the same product?? (cookie dough, anyone?) one or the other thing should change, don't you think? that way, people can still support these causes without being buried by a deluge of dough.

in our house, at least, it takes awhile to empty one of those tubs (even longer now that we are on a campaign to eat less junk). i know they last longer in the freezer, but how many can you go through before the next year rolls around and you've got to buy more?

and of course you have to buy more. it's a case of you-scratch-my-back- i'll-scratch-yours. you're obligated to buy from your co-workers/neighbors because you want them to buy from you. and if you don't sell, your kid looks bad and the school/team doesn't get new books/toys/uniforms.

what happened to the days of the kids being responsible for hawking these goods, anyway? i remember going door to door in my neighborhood, begging the kindly old ladies to buy my ridiculously overpriced candy bars. sure, we used our parents workplaces, too, but we still had to pound some pavement for ourselves. (nowadays, it's all don't go knocking on doors, they might snatch you and lock you up in their basement and force you to watch nicolas cage movies torture you.)

of course, the alternative is for the parents to just shell out the money directly to the school for the coveted goods. hmm, no thanks. i guess i'll continue to spread the burden cookie dough.

octofinals

i didn't even know that was a word. cool.

our third match was against a team called 3 Citizens and a Brit. we thought about crying foul on a technicality, since their Brit didn't make the start of the match, but he eventually showed up claiming he had been at a client meeting. whatever. with a $500 pot on the line, you have to get your priorities straight.

We got off to a rough start, quickly falling behind 5-0. We struggled throughout the match to regain the sure-handedness that had steered us so finely through our previous games. The course was wet and played to our opponents’ style of play: backhanded bombs that soar and then plummet to an exact location. Our team uses a bowling technique that relies on predictable dry ground.

It was a see-saw battle, with neither team being able to score max points in any end. We eked out a measly single point almost every time.

Finally, our luck seemed to change. With the score sitting at 18-12, we went on a crawl run that culminated in our eventual victory. I had joked that as soon as we took a lead, however small, we would conveniently call the game due to time limit. That turned out to be unnecessary.

I felt greatly redeemed for my abysmal play when I was able to secure the winning point. It was my turn to throw the pallina (?) and then the first bocce. The other team was unable to land any closer than I had, and so my teammates didn’t even have to throw.

Phew. What a nail-biter.

roll the balls

our company is having their second annual bocce charity challenge.

last year i participated but my team didn't do very well. none of us were very experienced, in fact, 2 of us had never played before. then one of our team members went on vacation the week of the tournament and we had to use an alternate. although we only won one match, we had a great time.

this year, we tried to go with the same team, but again had a personnel issue. our alternate from last year had an injury, so we had to get an alternate-alternate. (the guy we originally tried to use last year was on vacation again.) i talked to one person, another team mate recruited a different person. even though i'm the captain, i deferred to the other choice because he's a higher ranking person in the company. when we left for our first match, he got called back by his boss, so we went with my choice anyway.

our first match was a cake walk. even though we were rusty, we came out with some good plays. the other team clearly was not taking this match seriously. they were out to have a good time away from their desks. we got out to an early lead and never looked back. we won 21-5.

our next match was the following day. it was a bit of a grudge match against another team from our floor. normally we'd be friends with these guys, but this is a competition. we played it cool, very nonchalant, while they were comically aggressive, performing leaping chest bumps in an asinine display of testosterone. it was a see-saw battle all the way through but we finally pulled it out at the end of a sweltering hour. 21-19 was the final score.

the reckoning

i had a feeling that pooka was going to be in for some adjustment at school. i thought it happened last week.

when we came into the school, lisa* and john were sitting at the table. john said, "beth isn't here today." (i had seen beth duck under the table a second before.) pooka found her immediately and thought she was playing hide-n-seek. beth popped up and groaned. lisa and john said, "beth doesn't want to play with you today." pooka said, "is that true, beth?" there was confusion in her voice.

beth said, "i have to play with you everyday!" pooka was a bit flustered so i shooed her downstairs to put her stuff away. i heard the kids still talking behind us as the other two declared that they weren't going to play with pooka, either.

it just about broke my heart. i know she's bossy, and i can see the potential for her to become a bully because of her size and intelligence. but she craves playmates so desperately after the long isolation she's endured. i began to think that her conflicts with emily at school arose because emily stood up to pooka and wouldn't do as she was told.

i felt like shit that i secretly had such a bad image of my daughter that i would side against her in my mind.

that morning, i told pooka that she had to let the kids play with other kids sometimes. if beth didn't want to play with her, to leave her alone and not pester her, to find another playmate.

i burned inside the whole way to work.

it's obvious that pooka has inherited kisu's commanding social presence and ease in a crowd; she certainly enjoys being the center of attention. occasionally, she shows a bit of my shyness and, unfortunately, i think she also got from me the desperate desire to have friends, and to be wanted as a friend. i think that this could be a dangerous combination and might lead to bullying and/or sycophancy.

my wish for her is to be a good friend, to have friends, but not to need friends. i want her to be comfortable with herself so that she can endure being alone and not be lonely. i don't WANT her to be alone, but to be able to handle it when it happens. instead of, like me, creating a false insouciance and just pretending to like being alone.

ideally she'll have a small core of tight-knit friends that she can rely on for the rest of her life, as well as the ability to quickly turn strangers into amiable acquaintances.

i followed up with her teachers to see how she was adjusting socially and to see if my shameful vision of her behavior was accurate. to my great relief, and continuing guilt, it was not. diane said that pooka has been very helpful (both to the teachers and to her fellow students), very friendly, and overall very kind, although she is a bit bossy. sadly, though, it seems as if the whole class is plagued with snarky, petty, catty behavior. i suppose it's not too surprising, given that it contains 7 girls and only 3 boys.

oh, and for the record, beth ended up changing her mind and playing with pooka that day after all.

*all names were changed to protect the "innocent" little monsters.

the legion of super...insects

pooka made a ladybug mask at the last camp casey. she put a giant brown pompom on it. she got mad at us when we starting telling 'mole' jokes ala austin powers.

today she put it on and gave her evil laugh. (have i mentioned that she routinely practices this?)

muah, hah, hah.

"are you afraid of me?"

"of a ladybug? i don't think so."

"but i'm an evil ladybug."

miss redford usa or how i learned to tolerate a beauty pageant

we had quite the busy day saturday. first we had a baby shower for noel and nancy. from there, the girls and i went straight out to port huron to meet up with molly and crew from camp casey. we were being treated to a girls' night out to support miss angel (a camp counselor) in her bid to become miss michigan usa 2008.

i should have known better than to head out for such a girly-girl event.

to begin with we left the shower later than we should have. i made the wrong turns to get back to the freeway and took at least twice as long as it should have. so we had 20 minutes to travel 63 miles. (i speed, yes, but i don't go that fast!) then i discovered that a large portion of our route would be reduced to one lane.

i had a mini-meltdown. after giving pooka a hard time about reneging on a commitment, i was going to make her miss the event. and it was so late that even if i turned around immediately, we wouldn't make the birthday party, either.

i pulled myself together, resolving that we would have a good time, one way or another. either we would catch up with the group later in the itinerary or we would find my friend who lives in port huron and just hang out and have fun. this resolution was tested again as i missed my exit and had to explore my way to the meeting spot. fortunately, both times i had previously been in port huron were in the same vicinity as our destination, and i did find it.

we arrived at the meeting place just as the group was about to leave. i made pooka strip and put on her 'theatre' wear and we all piled into the limo. we went to the salon (about 4 blocks away), which was reserved for the girls' special night. they got their makeup and nails done, and got their hair styled. they also made signs showing off their support for miss angel. the salon gave each of the girls swag bags, as did camp casey. tiaras and sashes proclaiming each girl to be 'camp casey's angels' were donned. one girl celebrated her birthday saturday and she got even more special treatment. she was dressed as cinderella, complete with glass (ok, plastic) slippers and silver gloves. her toenails were painted as well as fingernails.

the limo took us over to the bluewater bridge for some photo ops, and then we returned to the pizza place for dinner. the girls were so excited to find we had a room all to ourselves with a tv which they controlled! we had salad, pizza, breadsticks, and an impromptu birthday cake. then we were off to the theatre for the pageant.

we had talked about walking, but by the time i was ready to leave, my walking partners had already left--in their cars! so i put my girls in the truck and headed down to the event. i lost sight of our group as i parked and hurried to the building to catch up. wouldn't you know, i was at the wrong entrance and had to lug the baby carrier all the way around the building. i was sweating by the time we found molly with the tickets. we headed upstairs and found seats just as the excitement was starting.

there were 62 representatives from all around the state of michigan. i don't know how they divided them up because some represented cities, others counties, and still others regions. for example: there was a detroit, a motor city, an oakland county, and an east michigan (she was the eventual winner). after the girls introduced themselves, there was an elimination. our sponsor did not make the semifinals. our night was basically done. we only got the chance to wave our signs once. i wanted to leave at that point, since i had no desire to watch a beauty pageant for no reason. when the girls came out in their bikinis, i actually felt a little queasy. it struck me then that i probably shouldn't have brought pooka to an event that seems so shallow and vain, but i did it for the experience. i don't regret it, but i do regret having to sit through the rest of the show.

i tried, i really did, to be respectful and not taint pooka's perception of what was going on. but there was only so much i could take, and after the intermission, my veneer began to crack and my natural snark and intolerance leaked out. fortunately, the woman i was sitting next to held a similar opinion and we got catty together. by the time the 5 finalists answered their 'final question' s, i had pretty much lost all semblence of mercy for these female objects and was outright laughing. asked how she felt after receiving her crown, the winner responded, "out of all the experiences in my life, i have experienced all of them up to this point, and this is the best so far." i buried my head in my hands to stifle my derisive snorts.

there was much hoopla and greetings with miss angel after the show. i was dreading the long drive home. i anticipated that we would get home around 1230. to cap off the evening, as i was headed to the parking lot (i had left the girls with the rest of the group and was going to drive around to pick them up--i was tired of lugging the baby carrier all over God's creation) i was nearly STRUCK by a car! the guy didn't look left as he exited the parking lot. if i hadn't jumped when i did, he'd have run over my leg or more. he wasn't going fast, but i bet it still would have hurt.

i called kisu as soon as i got on the road for home. i was afraid that i would doze off, so we talked the whole way back. it only took about an hour and twenty minutes, but it was still after midnight. we put the girls to bed and i crashed. i was in desperate need of my 'beauty' sleep.

commitment

after having such a quiet social calendar, it's getting crazy for pooka. we have the camp casey pageant event this saturday after the baby shower for noel and nancy. sunday we have tickets from make-a-wish for the tigers game. now pooka has an invitation to a schoolmate's birthday party for saturday, as well.

we tried to explain to her that a) the pageant was a rarer event and b) we already rsvp'd for the pageant, and we would be taking a spot that another little girl could have filled. she still wanted to go to the party. so i was weak, because i didn't want to drive all the way to port huron and back so late. i called the party mom and said we would be there. it was a rock and a hard place for me because i didn't particularly want to go to another princess party, either.

tonight, pooka decided she wanted to go to the pageant after all. (i had never told them we wouldn't be going. not out of any motherly prescience, but out of wanting to avoid their disappointment.) i decided that although i had been delinquent in my parental duties in the first place allowing this situation to get so muddy, i could make a good example of standing up, taking responsibility, and trying to clear it up. with pooka listening, i called the party mom and told her the whole story. she was very understanding and hoped that we could get together another time.

problem solved. hopefully pooka learned from my example.